a year and 200 times later...

I remember doing it for the first time in February last year. I was nervous. It was my first time, so there was no experience I could rely on. I did not know what were her expectations of me. I did not know if I was capable of satisfying her expectations.
Everybody had a view on it; people who had done it for years now and those who had started doing it just a few months, weeks or days back. I was still in a mood to learn. I was open to most inputs- even if they sounded contrary.
Some said that the act of context setting and foreplay was the most important part during the entire session. Some said, to hell with context, the act of getting her to talk is most important. Some felt that it was a divine opportunity to touch another life.
Some said that time does not matter. Some felt 45 minutes was too much. Some claimed to finish it in under 20 minutes. Some actually said that it depended on the money the "client" was willing to pay.
Everybody said that a session would leave you exhausted. Six is the upper limit you could do in a day. People had claimed to have done it 8 and even 12 times in a day. But they felt it was a little too much for a human being- specially when you have it back to back.
Most of them felt that I should prepare for it, if not a day in advance, atleast a few hours in advance. I actually tried practising it front of the mirror. (Even after a year of doing it the first time, over 200 times later, I still try to practise before the actual act begins).
I wondered if it would be a humiliating experience for the other person. The experienced ones said that it all depends on me and how comfortable I let the other person feel. Some were even generous enough to let me sit through in sessions when they were doing it- of course without letting the other person know about it.
And when it started, she was nervous. So was I. Only that she did not know why I was nervous. I tried to set a context, but I guess, messed it up. Nevertheless, the show went on for the next 60 minutes. She smiled at times. I thought those were the moments her expectations were satisfied. (over 200 times later, I now know and realise that a smile does not indicate satisfaction and a frown/ sounds and words of disapproval does not indicate a lack of satisfaction).
That was the first developmental dialogue with a person where I had to deliver a feedback. It was tough then. I still feel uncomfortable delivering the feedback at times. I've just come back after a session that I felt very difficult to complete.
Thought I'll pen down these thoughts...

PS-- dedicated to all the experienced friends who've helped me through these days in the act of delivering feedback