nostalgia...

Yaaron, dosti- badi hee haseen hai,
Ye na ho toh kya fir...... bolo yeh zindagi hai”

Am sure all of us have heard this immortal number by KK.

Has it ever happened to you that you receive a message, mail/ SMS or just anything at all from a friend that leaves you so touched that your eyes get moist- even in the midst of 10 others? Has it happened to you that in the most unusual of circumstances, from the most unexpected quarter, you come to know something very good about a friend long lost?

Well, both happened to me- in a span of 2 days, between yesterday and today;
And that has triggered this blog.

Very many friends have shown me the beauty of friendship- at different times, in varied ways.
I may or not have expressed my feelings back. I do not know.

The earliest memories I have are of friends I used to play cricket and football with. My friends were friends as long as I was not out while batting. The moment I got out, I would say that the bat is mine and go home. The guy who owned the ball would also do something similar.

The next set of friends were those who sat next to me in class- the ones with whom the pencil sharpener and the ever elusive eraser were shared with.

Then came those with whom I chose to have my lunch at school- when I first started having my own groups. The key word here is “chose”.

I do not remember if there was an interim stage between the two preceding stages.

Then came the set of friends with whom I would prefer to hang around- after school hours. As my school was in the close vicinity of where we all lived, the people I would hang around with were those that I chose to spend my lunch hours at school with.

After 10th, when the friends group was split into the different streams- arts, science and commerce, there were new friends. Some of the old friends were still there, the rest got pushed into oblivion- some immediately, some slowly and steadily.

Then there were those that I shared my interests with- and my aspirations as well. So there were friends just because they enjoyed my kinda movies and books; some because they too wanted to get into the armed forces.

When the school gates closed and the college gates opened, there were again a whole lot of new friends. Some of the old friends remained close and eventually became closer; some of them became acquaintances. The key word here is “close”.

Graduation brought with it some rosy days- eating bhelpuri outside Arts Fac, Chhole bhathure at Malka Ganj, Momos in Kamla nagar and having Banta outside KMC; watching movies in the front row at Priyas,and of course at Batra, Alpana and Amba. (Anybody who ever studied in North Campus can understand all this). Some of the adventures also included sitting on a dharna together- day and night for a good two weeks over issues close to the heart; jumping out of a running bus together and even together going on a “well-planned” trip outside Delhi. Then there were those dark hours. The same set of friends still were there then.

Graduation gave way to Post graduation. I was now right across the road. (for the uninitiated, D’school is on one side of the road; on the other is KMC where I graduated from). There were again a new set of friends. Some of the old ones still remained.

Kipling wrote,
"If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;"

The context was different when he wrote this. However, college taught me (especially post grad) that in difficult situations, with friends, the element of doubt never existed. Probably they trusted you more that you believed in yourself. The key word here is "Trust".

Then there always other friends- at tuition, in the neighbourhood, at work, in the lift and so on... or the teetotaler, who like me, visits pubs alone only to enjoy the live music and the lemonade or the odd mocktail... and those beautiful moments of solitude.

I guess the recipe that built up these relationships over the years have been the tripod of Affinity, Respect and Trust. Outside of the immediate family, it is friends who have had maximum impact on my life.

Then there were those odd broken friendships; reminding me that the death of a relationship is often as painful as the death of the relation himself/ herself. One such friend (its been long since we last spoke) is getting married within a couple of months. I got to know this in the most unusual of circumstances- from a person I was meeting for the first time, and pehaps, would never again meet.

This blog is a tribute to this little lady who once was my closest friend.

This blog is also a tribute to the Big Boy, who, yesterday, sent me one of the most touching messages I’ve ever received.

Even as I conclude this, I can remember the old song from Anand- a couple of lines from the song-
“…kaheen toh ye dil kabhi mil nahi paate,
kaheen se nikal aaye, janmon ke naate…