Tuesday, August 4, 2009

ek diwana sheher mein

All right, its been long. To those you who have been asking me when my next blog shall be released, here it is.

The writer's block seems to be a thing of the past- for now.

The last 2-3 months have been pretty eventful. Some happy, and some distressing. This one is going to look more like a diary in brief.

I have finally shifted to Dwarka- my parents are likely to join me in the next 10-15 days. Also was on tour to Ladakh.

The last few weeks have shown me some deaths- 2 of my friends lost their fathers while yet another lost his mother. It is in these moments that one feels helpless- so helpless that words fail to come out of the mouth. One stands there- by the side of the one who has lost- and feels helpless- What do I say and What can I say to assauge the loss? However, in these moments, one also tends to forget any negative emotions that one has nursed against the other. Both the ones become one in such times.

Even as I write this, I also remember those words my Dad quoted to me in Malayalam a few years back- "The death of a relationship can be more painful than the death of a relation himself/ herself". During a rather low juncture in life some years back, I thought this made a lot of sense...

I sense and fear the end of yet another beautiful relationship around the corner. I wonder when would I be able to get over the petty constraints of ego, attachment and expectation?

There are those other life giving factors that have made life interesting- a trip to the Triveni Sangam where the Ganga and the Yamuna meet- explicitly and the Saraswati joins them as the Antarvahini (making me philosophize how many times do we tend to ignore/ overlook the Antarvahinis in our lives) and a trip to Ladakh with close friends. (More on these in other travelogues).

Anna got engaged. Parived got engaged and so did Shilpa. Feel very happy for these people.

Some very close friends left Delhi in the last few weeks- to places as varied as Hyderabad and Bangalore and Canada. As usual, it was not easy to say Goodbye.

Life is like that. It is like a river that meanders through different curves- some that you expect and some that you don't- this suspense making life more exciting.

Even as I write all this, there is a part from my past that beckons me- my heart says, listen to the call. If I follow my heart, my life shall see yet another turn that I shall not have expected- even 2 days ago.

Somebody very special in my life often quotes a shloka which talks of the almighty as "Sarvamangala Sadgatiprada" (roughly translated, giver of things that will be good for you and will happen only at the right/ good pace). For once, let me also try and follow something else this person tells me-

"I shall seek not; I shall avoid not..."

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